Marriage is hard. For many of us, when we’re engaged, we picture marriage to be blissful and peaceful. But after you become newlyweds, you quickly discover that marriage can be strenuous. You learn that your husband ticks you off because he can’t seem to land his dirty laundry in the hamper. My husband and I are no different. We just celebrated our 10-year anniversary, and while I’d love to report that it’s been smooth sailing, that would be a mammoth lie. Yes, we’ve endured a lot this past decade: cancer-stricken parents, job loss, and adding two children to the mix. But the one thing that has kept us strong is how we show the other person that we care, that they’re appreciated every single day — no matter what.
The one thing that has kept us strong is how we show the other person that we care, that they’re appreciated every single day — no matter what.
Believe it or not, the one thing that my husband does for me that means the most is simply making the coffee every morning. Regardless of what’s going on in our lives, it’s he who always takes the time to make that glorious caffeine brew. And while he drinks a little of it in the morning, too, he does it for me to show me that he cares.
Yes, making the coffee is a simple task. You pour the water, dump the coffee grounds, and press the “on” button. Voilà. In minutes, you have caffeine ready to circulate through your veins to help wake you up. But because I am a stay-at-home and work-from-home mother, my husband understands that this coffee is vital for me before the rowdy children wake up and wreak havoc on our home. He knows that I relish in my solitude during the early hours of the morning to kick-start my day. And he understands that I need that warm mug between my hands while I’m nuzzled on the couch to really help ground myself for all that the day will bring.
Between settling sibling fights and writing articles, juggling the day’s responsibilities can be tough. My husband leaves home to go to his office every morning. So, while he doesn’t really get the pressure of working from home with little terrors trying to rule the home, he does appreciate what I do inside of it. He gets that working from home with the kids also means scrubbing toilets, making three meals, and cleaning . . . all day long. My husband and I do our best to thank each other for the different roles that we take on within our family. No one is better than the other. No job is more difficult. And we appreciate it all.
No, our marriage is not perfect. We argue weekly about both the big and small things, from not refilling the Brita before it goes back into the fridge to not understanding my feelings on a heated subject. But when I wake up the next morning after an altercation and see that the coffee is made, my heart softens. Yes, the one thing my husband and I always try to do is show each other that we care. Because if we stop showing each other that we appreciate each other, what will we have left? So, while making me coffee each and every morning is a small task, I sure hope that my husband continues to do it when our skin is wrinkled and the hair on our heads turns white. Because not only does it revitalize my day, but our marriage, too.